这也许是某种不可抗力,也可以当成某种命运。离开英国的时间里,我慢慢意识到英国生活对我的珍贵。在那里相遇的人,在岛屿上的生活给予了在陆地国家沿海城市长大的我某种慰藉。虽然还没有探清抗拒去欧洲长期生活,但生活在英国给了我想象欧洲的自由。也让我逃离了,生活在大国,看美国流行文化长大,带来的某种大国综合症。想到每个郡(或省)都能让我想起,朋友提到的事情或者一位擦肩而过的陌生人。
I admit that I am lucky enough to return home at an unexpected time. I am fortunate to have met so many good people when I was young and wandering around the streets. At that time, I treated the outside world as a safe haven where I could escape the toxicity of my family. I felt blessed to receive countless acts of kindness along the way. I am grateful for the people I have met as I moved away from my home and homeland. From mentors, neighbours and friends to chance encounters with kind strangers, each one has shaped my journey in ways I could not have imagined. Their personal story, our conversations and simply by being who they are, give me inspiration and courages. as I tried to face the past trauma, and the disorders I’ve since brith. These people have given me the strength to embrace an unconventional life and reconnect with my own body, soul and mind. I hope there would be a Christmas season where I could host all these lovely people who have been so important in my life.
My angry, my frustration they are valid. I don’t need the “because” to self-validate. My friend's words made me sick. It's because they are, in my values, terrible words.
It felt wired to start writing blog via iMessages. Something about sending messages made me feel save. Messages can be deleted on my end but it might live with the receiver for a little bit longer.