If nobody got me, I know HE got me *points vaguely to the hat man standing just outside my field of vision menacingly*

I would write poetry about you (derogatory)

Doctors HATE Him??! Tony Hawk goes on to Tony SHOCK the world after releasing bird flu into all local estuaries

*through gritted teeth and streaming tears* sk.......skibbidi ? bazinga ...... Grocery store clerk at Fred Meyer: sure man. you still have to pay the bottle deposit for the 1700 sprite zeros though

Damn. They forgot to render the sky again ????? Somebody tell the developers to actually take their lunch breaks today The sky: it's cloudy. Literally it's just cloudy rn

me as a therapist: dang that sucks so bad. Have you done a little dance about it maybe ? I feel like that would help

them (job interview mode): so we're looking for someone with a lot of follow through that we can depend on to see a project through to the end me: you came to the right place then. I've held several grudges since 1995 and have vendettas I will not rest until I fulfill them: ....ok. You know this is a fed ex copy center right me: I am excited to gain new mortal enemies through working with your fine company

live at 5, we tell you about how scientists collectively decided your vibe is “kinda weird”. We have a field reporter who went to your house and then left bc something they couldn’t name drove them far away. We’ll update you as we know more

well maybe you'd feel better if you changed every aspect of how you exist in the world in ways you actually have no control over and are ultimately doomed to live through. Like did you consider that

saw a person post about buying a new hat to protect them from the elements. On the internet the elements do not include fire I think bc that'd be Kentucky fired in like 26 seconds in a pvp battle

I’m so good at having a migraine and eating trail mix in the dark about it

haunted by the ghosts of DSMs past btw

you just know a discount section of a Fred Meyer hates to see me coming. Those wares gonna get EXAMINED

You can make cookies out of basically any ingredients. But watch out

you can say a lot of mean things about me. And they’re all true anyway who wants to follow me into a cave for a while

do you think there’s a group rate if you bring friends to the psych ward with you or would you like. Get in trouble

if I was ever in a horror movie I would just go do something else. Like bye I’m at Wendy’s now haunt somebody else until my fries are gone

if I had xray vision I simply wouldn’t use it. What happens inside of yall is none of my business

I’ve never met a single person . In my whole time hangin out

it is always morally correct to give me six cookies. Don’t let the woke left deceive you